A Time to Make Peace With My Theme Word of 2018

When I was in grade 7 or 8 (I can’t remember which), I staged a coup against my teacher. Apparently there was something wrong with the system and I thought it would be the best thing for everyone if I did something about it.

I’m pretty sure that the “something” I did amounted to extra attitude, gossip, and back-talk. I’m also pretty sure it was swiftly cut short. No rules changed. No systems were overturned.

Apparently coup-staging is not my forte.

So, every year, a friend and I make vision boards. We have a word and we base our board around that word.

My 2017 word was LOVE.

Isn’t that wonderful? Love. It sounds beautiful and pure and GOOD. It looks like a pretty red heart, and kindness, and unity. Love is the best. Love is popular. Can’t argue with love. 

This year, God has been teaching me what love looks like. He has been showing me how He loves people. He has been teaching me what loving myself looks like. My heart was in pieces, and He has been mending it. My idea of love has grown since January. It’s gritty and it’s messy and it’s leaps of faith.

It’s being healed, and healing still.

So I’ve been praying about my 2018 word of the year. What would it be? Hope? Joy? Growth? 

Nope.

It’s HUMILITY.

It’s the worst.

Of all things, humility? Come on, God. I prayed extra over that one. Humility must be a side part of my REAL word. 

How about Dancing, God? “There will be dancing.” Remember? 

Gratitude would also be acceptable.

I’d like a word-of-the-year-do-over, please.

Because most Christians know that when we ask God to teach us something like humility, the lesson comes in a practical sort of form. It’s generally not something to jump up and down about.

There are certain things we don’t enjoy praying for, lest our prayers come true. Do we ask God for endurance if we aren’t already going through some heavy endure-able things? Do we ask for suffering? Mostly, no. We like to talk about Job and such, but no one actually wants to BE him.

The more I think about it, the more I realize my thoughts about humility might actually be the reason that my word of 2018 is humility.

*Sigh*

As for the middle school coup I staged? I found out later that the teacher had prayed for some kind of growth – I don’t remember the exact kind – but I’m a bit nervous that “humility” might have been a part of it. Either way, I was an unfortunate character in someone else’s life-lesson-story.

Oh, how things come full circle. 

To that teacher, should she ever happen upon this: yuk it up. My time has arrived. Be vindicated. 

Alright God, I give. Bring on 2018. Bring on the humility. I’m not sure if I’m ready, but I know I’m willing. 

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