So, I’ve been all convicted and such.
I was having a discussion today with a stranger on the internet about submission vs obedience and she brought up Ephesians 5. My first response was PRIDE, because I have done all sorts of research into it, and I had a long, thorough answer to give her. I was correct. I was going to prove my point so that others would understand exactly what I was saying.
And I might have been completely right. But I was still wrong.
Because that’s how people change their minds, right? They see your super awesome argument and suddenly say “Hey, internet stranger who I’m having a keyboard-clash with: your incredible logic has been so convincing, that my entire worldview is now changed. Thanks for the enlightenment!”
Yep, that’s how it ALWAYS goes. It’s like magic.
I think I’ve always been more egalitarian in my views than anything else – even when I used complementarian language. But earlier this year, I started digging more into the WHY of what I believe.
And the deeper I went into scripture, the more passionate I became.
And the more passionate I became, the more danger I saw within some of the beliefs Christians hold.
And the more danger I saw, the firmer my stance became.
And the firmer my stance has become, the easier it has been to let my stance overshadow my LOVE for others.
Here’s what I know: I believe we as Christians are equal and should submit to one another. I believe this applies within marriage and within all areas of the church. I believe that patriarchal systems are dangerous in a lot of ways. I believe that the Bible doesn’t support patriarchy or spiritual authority of one person over another. This has not changed.
But NONE of that matters if I don’t remember that we are brothers and sisters in Christ first and foremost.
None of it matters if we lose sight of relationship.
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
~1 Corinthians 13:1-3
I love people. I love the Church – even if I don’t see eye to eye with everyone in it. But I’m not showing love when I’m trying to shove my truth down their throats. I’m not showing them Jesus. And Jesus matters the most.
So, I will still speak words that I think need to be spoken. I will still be posting these things that others might disagree with me about. I will still be a voice for those who have yet to find theirs.
But I will allow you to disagree with me and I will try to understand FIRST and explain second. I will show love.
I will do better.
*Edited to add: just because I “know” something, that does not make me 100% right. It makes me a person with an opinion that is valid like the opinion of someone who disagrees with me. And I will still share my opinion when the conversation is open in that way. But that means I hear yours as well. That means yours holds weight like mine holds weight.
And that’s how we grow and learn.